Smile

As much as I hate to say it, I’m much better as an independent woman. When I don’t have to please anyone but myself, there’s never any disappointment. As much as I think I want a relationship, I truly don’t. Until that one guy comes along that is, in my eyes, perfect, I will be independent.
In all honesty, I’m not a very strong person, but I can hide my feelings well. I can be crying on the inside but smiling and making jokes. I absolutely don’t like talking about my feelings, but it’s something that must be done.
And, because I’m writing this blog, I’m crying on the inside today.
But I hope everyone else is having a great day!

Strangers within inches

I have been in such a slump the past few days and it’s all because of me being down about my body and looks. This is so beyond not right. I shouldn’t have to spend more than an hour getting ready to just feel good about myself. I shouldn’t have to work out until I puke or starve myself just to be confident about my body.
And I hate that people can’t give compliments nowadays without feeling like a creep. Men never tell women of the opposite sex that they look good if they’re not best friends or dating. I just want an acquaintance or stranger to be able to talk to me. Compliment me on my hair or my outfit or my shoes or my shirt. Make conversation. Don’t be a stranger. You never know whose day you’ll make better just by noticing them.

Strangers within inches

I have been in such a slump the past few days and it’s all because of me being down about my body and looks. This is so beyond not right.  I shouldn’t have to spend more than an hour getting ready just to feel good about myself. I shouldn’t have to work out until I puke or starve myself just to be confident about my body.

And I hate that people can’t give compliments nowadays without feeling like a creep.  Men never tell women that they look good if they’re not best friends or dating.  I just want an acquaintance or stranger to be able to talk to me.  Compliment me on my hair or my outfit or my shoes or my shirt. Make conversation. Don’t be a stranger. You never know whose day you’ll make better just be noticing them and saying a few simple words.

Starting my life

I’m really starting to become concerned with my weight and overall fitness. I keep saying I’m going to work out or run and then never do. But, at this point I don’t need to lose a lot, I just need to get fit. If I keep putting off working out, I will turn into one of those people on a reality show.
Another huge factor of fitness is sleep. I’ve been awful about my sleeping habits this year but I’m going to start going to bed at a reasonable time so I have energy for the whole day, beginning in the morning, not the middle of the afternoon.
Next is my food choices. Yes I’m a college student and my budget is limited, but I can still try to avoid the bad for you foods and make healthy meals for myself.
So, this is the new me…physically & emotionally anyway.

Show me around a country boy’s world

So, when I was young i knew I was a tomboy. I would climb trees, play basketball, and run around in the woods with my brother. As I got older, I realized there’s a man like that; country boys.

So, now that’s what I look for. For some reason a rugged, outdoorsman is more appealing than a smart, businessman. Not saying country men are stupid..okay, maybe a better word to use besides smart is sophisticated.  But, either way, I, for a time, called myself a country girl. But, now I realize there’s also a difference between a country girl and a tomboy. I’m still classified as a tomboy, not a country girl. I love everything about the countryside. The music, the air, the smells, the look, the lack of noise, but I did not grow up on a farm, nor do I know anything about farming, or hunting for that matter. I wouldn’t mind becoming accustomed to those things, but I’m not at all knowledgable of it right now.

So, instead of saying I’m a country girl…I’m just merely a tomboy who loves the country way of life.

Give & Take

Are you one of those people who is generally nice all the time and tries to help, yet those people you help out never do anything for you? Then that one time you snap at them or don’t do them a favor they act like it’s the end of the works? To the non-helpers, it’s annoying when you don’t get your way, isn’t it? Every relationship, friend, parent, child, lover, is a give and take relationship, so try to do so every now and then.
For me personally, I’m getting tired of lending rides, opening my door & lending my money to those that aren’t going to return the favor.
I am not made of money and do not appreciate never being paid back. Gas is expensive, times are tight and I only have enough money for barely myself.
When I’m made if money one of these days, I’ll help y’all out as much as I can and not worry about it, but for now that’s not the case.
I help out because I believe there’s a real good in people and that I won’t be taken advantage of. Well, guess what. My conclusion is that I am going to be taken advantage of, therefore the bank and car dealership of Amanda is officially closed.

Resolutions

I’m not a fan of resolutions. Actually, it’s not the resolutions part but more the sharing and making a big deal about it. If you choose to set a goal, great! I hope you achieve it. But, I feel as if you share it with the world, you choose something intangible and out of reach, just to make it seem incredible. Then, when you don’t reach your goal, everyone knows.
In my opinion, just go for the small things and work your way up. The less specific your resolution, the better off you’re going to be.
I’m simply going to pass this next semester with A’s and B’s and maintains daily blog post.
Those are my resolutions and they, well not the classes part, but they are resolutions that I enjoy and are do-able.

If my life were a movie…

If my life were a movie instead of reality, I would be waitressing one slow evening at The Chocolate Moose and a widely famous graphic designer would sit at my table.  By the end of his/her meal, I would be a new intern at his/her company.

If my life were a movie, the guy that I just watched graduate, that I’ve grown to care for, would take a job in Indiana and would consider me as more than a friend.

If my life were a movie, the guy I have a “crush” on would realize how intelligent he is and how much I admire him.

If my life were a movie, my bank account would hold more than 100 dollars for a day…

But, if my life were a movie, I wouldn’t have to worry about how much money was in my bank account.

And, if my life were a movie, I wouldn’t be going on and on about wishing my life were a movie.

BUT, if my life were a movie, it’d probably end up being a Hallmark movie, and I would have no excitement…just a tired face from smiling all the damn time.

But, for once it’d be nice to have a happy ending. No cliffhanging goodbyes. No teasing men that sometimes want to be friends and sometimes want nothing to do with me depending on the day.

Only if my life were a movie.

 

Thanksgiving

I grew up in a home where on Thanksgiving Day I woke up to the smell of delicious food being prepared for the days festivities.  These days festivities included getting ready and heading over to a family members house where all my family would gather.  We’d all arrive, family by family, and take part in our normal routine.  In this picture I imagine gathering at my aunt and uncle Dave’s house.  If my cousins are home from their various living places, my cousin Traci and aunt Sandy would be preparing food as my mom, aunt Brenna and cousin Toni would sit around the counter and eat snacks and talk as the men of the families would be sitting in recliners watching TV.  They would sometimes take part in a conversation in which one of us girls pulled them in to for an opinion or comment.

Once the food was finished, we’d pile up our plates and all gather around the table, and continue our conversations, although the men were now included in the stories and gossip.  But, you bet the TV was still on, only now to a basketball or football game.

We’d all sit around the table even after our plates were cleared, some daring for dessert, others drinking wine.

After the big meal and we were all done sitting around the table, we’d disperse into various places throughout the house.  Going from table to couches to kitchen to table to couches again.  Yet, it was all about family and sharing limited time with them.

There’s never a dull moment at my family Thanksgiving’s, or any other holiday for that matter.

This year in particular, my cousins from Colorado and Minnesota were home.  The Finchum family was present, but it wouldn’t be a family gathering without someone missing (seems a little backwards I know, but it’s true).

But, this year, my cousins Jeb and Traci found a stray dog earlier in the week and so along with their “only dog”, they were taking care of a stray dog until they could find it a home (which may end up being their own home).  So, we had two dogs, in which weren’t very familiar with each other.  Like I said, there’s never a dull moment.

Anyways, it’s come to my attention, as I am getting older, that not everyone grew up with this sort of surrounding.  I love the holidays because my family comes together, which doesn’t happen much.  But, other people my age don’t celebrate holidays like my family does.  I’ve met a few people whose parents kick them out of their house or just don’t celebrate with meals and gatherings.  Thanksgiving may just be another weekday for specific families.

I can’t imagine living a life without my family and not having something to look forward to on the holidays.

To be honest…

I do NOT have time for high school drama. Leave me out of it. I am a college student working towards incredible things for my future and I work three jobs so I can have my OWN life. My own life!

If a 17-year-old is choosing to include herself in a 20-year-olds life, you WILL reap the consequences.

And no, consequences doesn’t mean a beat down or harsh words, it simply means, ignoring you. I will ignore you. I don’t even have time to text people back that I ENJOY talking to, let alone those who say I have sexually transmitted diseases, are trying to sleep with anyone who walks and just calls me awful names.

Now, go back to your playpen, Baby.

I do not have the time for you and your childish games.

Thanks for listening.